November

OK, Two more weeks!

As has become the sad norm, the media brings horrifying news and images alongside examples of humanity and kindness.  The juxtapositions of these form the backdrop to what normal looks like here.  I choose hope because the alternative is too terrible and perhaps because I am naive.   In any case, I have learned that the appropriate response to tragedy is action and I am trying to figure out what action is called for here and now.  I met this morning with Rabbi Hanan Schlesinger of Alon Shvut who is a cofounder of the Roots project (www.friendsofroots.org) and whose network includes people from several different organizations.  We discussed several interesting ideas and I felt good about the meeting. My central thought moving forward is to learn more about what we already know regarding effective conflict resolution strategies (one can obtain an academic degree in this discipline, clearly there is a substantive body of literature that is important to explore) and to avoid investing in "preaching to the choir" since they're not the problem... It struck me how much more evolved the Bay Area is in certain respects than here, and I wonder how much we can learn and borrow from the culture there that encourages such awareness both of self and other.

In more personal Dardik news, we have begun the construction process and we are enjoying the open feeling.  I am looking forward to the floor tiles being replaced and having a real gas range, though having Tamar's two-burner portable electric unit is a step up from my one-burner unit which gave out a couple weeks ago.   As you can see in the pictures, Hillel has been an enthusiastic helper and is enjoying our indoor sandbox...

 

We had another round of minor colds, etc. and earned a visit to the medical center because of fever and ear pain.  No medical assistants, just when people leave the doctor's office, that's your cue to walk in.  And if you make your appointment online, you may or may not get the doctor with whom you had booked your appointment because he might be in Beitar that day.  We were advised to make appointments on the phone if the specific doctor was important.  Noted.  

After a week of glorious weather last week we are back to rain, which we need and is a great blessing.  Shoshana and Hodayah each have little cheapo umbrellas which they are excited to take to school with them on rainy days.  Hillel loves the enormous puddle we have in our front yard.  I see it and think, drainage engineering needed!  He sees it and thinks, SPLASH!   I have a cute video too but can't get the email to go through. 

I got a small job helping my former high school principal arrange his visits to various programs here. I am glad about that because I am happy to be doing something supportive for them and it's nice for me to feel that I am doing something productive besides housework and childcare (not to knock the importance of those, it's just a different type of feeling accomplished).  I should actually probably be doing that instead of writing now during Hillel's nap but it's been two weeks and I don't want to let more time than that elapse without an update or people might stop checking in :).  

We were in the Old City two Shabboses ago with the Yeshiva and that was pleasant and easy for me.  We were put up in an apartment very close to the Yeshiva that was clearly outfitted for large Shomer Shabbat families.  I counted beds and mattresses and found that a family of 13 could stay comfortably and there was grape juice for kiddush in the fridge, liquid soap in all the bathrooms, torn paper, shabbos candles set up, etc.  It felt very welcoming.  On our way back home, we stopped at Kenyon Hadar in Talpiyot (Kenyon= mall, from the root k.n.h. meaning "acquire" or "purchase".  We discussed the difference between a "kenyon" and a "canyon" which had been the source of some confusion for the younger children).  Mostly because we could, we got pizza and sushi.  I think that was a first for us -- our family eating at a mall!  

This Thursday we are going to my brother's place in Modiin for Thanksgiving dinner.  My sister and her son will be there too along with my stepfather (my mother is in the States until early next month).  I think that my brother's family has been waiting for years to be able to have all of us together (next year, B"H, with my mom too).  Shameless showing off:  Here's a picture of my nephew Yarden on his second birthday (just last week, so he's exactly 3 months older than Hillel) and the unbelieveable cake his mom/ my SIL made for him:

Okay, I think that's got to be it for now, I miss you and I'm sorry I don't get to call and write more often.  The 10 hour time difference is hard, because once I get the kids off to school there is a small window of time before I go next door for class (if I am not driving kids to school who, ahem, missed the bus.  Again.) and then when everyone on the West Coast is waking up I am doing the evening routine until I am so tired I just have to go to sleep.  Some things never change!  Until kids go to college :)   Mazal tov to Shoshana and Jeremy and Rochelle and Lorne, we are so thrilled at the news of Shira Rina's arrival!  Lots of brachot to all of you.

Two Degrees of Separation

I am feeling deeply sad after yesterday's hard losses and thinking about the differences between how these attacks are felt from within the community (which can be defined in several legitimate ways) and without.  Noticing the difference between how it feels when I read about it in the New York Times versus the Jerusalem Post.  Even more personally, on the Facebook posts or Blog Posts on Times of Israel.  One difference, aside from the obvious immediacy and the resulting discrepancy in the level of anxiety that people feel about being personally targeted, is that it seems that everyone knows someone who knows the victim.  Dalia Lemkus's younger brother is in 8th grade at Aharon Akiva's school.  She was Liron Kopinski's first cousin.  I decided not to try and find childcare to go to her funeral this morning, but part of me felt like I needed to go and be there with her family.  Sad, frustrated, anxious about the future.

On a more mundane level, the kids seem to be getting more used to the rhythm of school here.  They continue to figure out navigating the support systems available to them -- Ulpan in school, the "Bnot Sherut" and various aids and programs in place to help new Olim.  We have had many fewer tearful nights and anxious mornings and I have been flexible in letting certain people take the day at their own pace when it seems needed.  Thankfully, we have a car, so if someone misses a bus, I can drive to school.  And stop at the bakery on the way for fresh rolls :)

We very much enjoyed having Jay Goldman here for Shabbat -- ask him to tell you about his time here!  We had dinner with Shimona and her family along with a neighbor and his kids (his wife is in the US for business) and then lunch with Adami and Tamar in their new house.  He caught great weather and such clear days that we could see the Mediterranean on the West and the Jordanian hills on the East.  Beautiful.  Feel free to follow his lead, the guest room awaits!

Now that the Bat Mitzvah is behind us, my attention is returning to the house repair and renovation projects that were delayed a bit in the early fall.  I needed to make final decisions about the kitchen (now done) and the process of collecting bids from contractors and maintaining timely communication with them seems to lurch and stall.   One of the fellows who came by must have been using Google translate because his text had phrases like "knowing that you are a very joyous aspects of work because I am a very beautiful work."  Of course, his next text was in Arabic so that didn't help at all!  The whole topic of who one hires to do construction work has reemerged as a controversial topic on our town message board (security concerns, don't-be-judgmental replies, don't-be-naive counter replies... you get the idea) and I can't help but compare the situation here to whatever a parallel would be in the States (early 1900s South?  Colonial times?).  On the one hand, the stereotyping and fear feels familiar, but at the same time there are real differences.

Shoshana and Aharon Akiva are both in after school classes that fill in some of the educational gaps we have since the schools here are not the same (we really do miss OHDS...).  AA has creative writing on Tuesdays with an American Olah and Shoshana has Art on Thursdays with a lovely Dutch woman who has a studio in her basement.  Shoshana also has Zumba for girls which I think is a hoot.

This Shabbat we'll be in the Old City with the Yeshiva and staying in an apartment there, so no long walks to the Eldan hotel like over Rosh Hashana (but no breakfast buffet either :)  We are still getting lovely invitations from people here and looking forward to getting time with them.